Misadventures in Skiing

Ok, so I've never been skiing. Until yesterday. And, overall, I would call the experience a disaster. A complete failure. And, I'm so disappointed. I'd been looking forward to it all winter. We kept making plans to go and then something would happen to interrupt those plans. Well, obviously there was a reason why - I was not meant to go skiing. I may not be meant to ski ever.

On Sunday nights, the nearby ski resort has a great package - $39 for a lesson, lift ticket, and rental. So, even though I was post-call, having slaved in the ICU all weekend, my boyfriend and I thought we'd try it out. I got all bundled up in my makeshift ski-wear and drove my grumpy, sleep-deprived self north to the slopes. We got there around 4. After paying for the package, the lady at the counter inquires what our level of skiing expertise is. We exchange a glance and agree to be beginners.

"Oh, well, the lesson for beginners isn't until 7," she says with a smile.

SEVEN?!? What? She couldn't tell us this before we forked over our $80?!?

Obviously we weren't gonna wait around until 7 for lessons. So, like the troopers that we are, we tromped on over to the rental area, picked up our skis and stumbled our way into our gear. Once out in the wintery cold, we gingerly made our way onto the snow and attempted to teach ourselves to ski.

There are some things you just shouldn't teach yourself. However, it wasn't the skiing that was the challenge. It was the moving sidewalk. Whoever came up with the concept of a moving sidewalk that one is supposed to maneuver while on skis truly is not the brightest bulb in the box.

All the kids were doing it. I figured I could too. I confidently placed my skis on the belt, leaning slightly forward. I wavered. I teetered. Oh, yea, and I fell flat on my ass. The belt continued to move. The skiers behind me stopped, looking on in wonder (and likely amusement) at my body tangled in skis. I grasped the railing, attempting to pull myself upright, instead twisting my body further into a pretzel. Finally the belt stopped. I laughed. I cried. I tried to act like I meant for it to happen. I somehow untangled myself from skis and turned right around and marched back down past the 4 year olds waiting to get to the top of the hill. Oh, the humiliation.

So, I couldn't even make it to the top of the hill. Maybe I can ski. Actually, I seemed to be doing a pretty good job with the skiing part. But, I may never know how good I am because I can't maneuver the lift. It's pathetic.

We left at 5:30. I guess I really did need a lesson.